I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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