i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
