The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
