I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
