Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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