There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
