he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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