Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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