Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
