I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
