How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
How external is "for external use only"?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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