I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
