come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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