I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
