How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
