He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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