Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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