Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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