i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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