I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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