They should really pass out barf bags in church
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This is my gift to your gina
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
