Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
