these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
