I think I won the penis lottery.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
