Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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