So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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