I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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