last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
