'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
