what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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