Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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