White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
