I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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