He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
