I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
