Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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