You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
