im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
