i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
