He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
