how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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