toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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