The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
