And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
