I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
