Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize