He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
