she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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