that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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