ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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