last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
