honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
