So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
