I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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