new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
