After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
