How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
