weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
