Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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